Why a co-parenting plan matters more than equal custody time

When separating, many parents ask the same question: What’s fair in custody? For years, family law has often been seen through the lens of numbers — dividing time in half to reach 50/50. But for children, fairness isn’t a calculation. It’s about stability, emotional security, and the love they feel from both parents.

In Canadian family law, what was traditionally called “custody” is now referred to as decision-making responsibility. 

At Fairway Divorce Solutions, co-parenting is not defined by percentages. Through our Nurtured Children Plan™, we help separated parents and divorced parents design agreements that reduce conflict, strengthen bonds, and put the child’s best interest first.

What custody really means in family law

In Canadian family law, the term “custody” was historically used to describe a parent’s rights and responsibilities over a child. Under current legislation, this concept is now referred to as decision-making responsibility, which emphasizes parental responsibility and involvement in major decisions such as education, health care, religion, and other important aspects of a child’s life. Misunderstanding decision-making responsibility can often lead to unnecessary battles in family court, where a child’s needs may be overshadowed by arguments over control.

The term “access” was historically used to describe the parenting schedule. Today, we use the term “parenting time”.

A parenting plan should clarify responsibilities without turning children into bargaining chips. That’s why Fairway guides parents toward parenting agreements that emphasize:

• Shared decision-making

• Emotional stability

• Realistic, flexible parenting arrangements

This approach moves parents away from conflict and toward effective co-parenting arrangements that respect the role of each parent.

Why equal time isn’t always equal parenting

The push for equally shared parenting time often comes from fear — fear of losing time or fear of losing connection. But aiming for perfect equality can make schedules rigid and stressful. For example, a parent working shifts may find that splitting days evenly disrupts the child’s life more than it helps.

Children do not measure love in percentages. They remember their parent showing up for soccer practice, the reassurance of being tucked in by their child’s other parent, and the comfort of Saturday morning pancakes.

A healthy co-parenting relationship means focusing on quality time, not equal hours. Fairway’s co-parenting plan recognizes that children thrive with consistency, not strict formulas.

Parenting arrangements that work in real life

Every family is unique, which is why no single parenting plan works for everyone. Some children adapt well to alternating weeks, while younger ones need shorter rotations. A co-parenting arrangement might give one parent school nights and the other weekends, depending on work schedules, school proximity, and the child’s life.

Fairway mediators help separated parents design decision-making and parenting arrangements that evolve as children grow. Unlike family court, where a judge may impose a rigid parenting order, mediation allows cooperative co-parents to create child-focused agreements together.

Redefining “fair” in co-parenting

Fairness in co-parenting is not symmetry. It’s about children having:

• Reliable access to both parents

• Emotional and physical stability

• Clear rules and expectations

• Freedom to love both parents without guilt

This perspective accepts that fairness doesn’t always mean identical arrangements. A single parent with long work hours may still maintain a strong relationship through weekends, holidays, or weekday dinners managed with a co-parenting app.

Fairness is about meeting children’s needs — not competing with the child’s other parent.

Avoiding the tug-of-war

Parents often believe that more time equals stronger bonds. In reality, children are far more affected by conflict than by uneven schedules. The real danger of conflicted co-parenting is not a missed overnight — it’s ongoing parental tension.

Fairway’s process emphasizes collaborative divorce and family mediation to reduce conflict. By avoiding adversarial tactics, parents can focus on building a healthy co-parenting relationship rather than fighting over parenting issues.

Co-parenting tips for real families

A co-parenting plan is not just a legal document — it’s a framework for everyday life. Here are a few practical co-parenting tips:

• Use a co-parenting app to manage schedules and expenses without constant negotiation.

• Aim for consistent parenting styles where possible, but allow flexibility so children can adjust between homes.

• Keep communication respectful, especially when discussing the child’s life in front of them.

• Consider a parenting coordinator if disagreements persist and you need professional guidance.

These steps encourage a healthy co-parenting relationship and reduce stress for both parents and children.

The role of family law and mediation

Family law recognizes that parenting arrangements must serve the child’s best interest. But family court litigation can be costly and draining. Conciliation courts and traditional processes often intensify conflict.

Fairway offers a better path through family mediation. By focusing on cooperative co-parenting and clear parenting agreements, parents avoid the drawn-out disputes often associated with the Family Law Act — while still protecting children and assets.

Joint custody vs. shared parenting

The terms “joint custody” and “shared parenting” are often used interchangeably, but they are not the same. Joint custody refers to shared decision-making authority, while shared parenting refers to the parenting schedule. Both can work — but only if they reflect the child’s best interest.

Child support and financial fairness

Parenting time can influence child support, but schedules should never be used as a tool to manipulate payments. The Federal Child Support Guidelines provide structure, but families need realistic solutions that work for everyday life.

Fairway’s fixed-fee model, combined with mediation around both parenting and finances, ensures that parenting agreements reflect children’s needs rather than financial maneuvering. Spousal support can also be addressed in mediation, providing clarity and reducing stress.

Building healthy relationships for the future

Children learn about relationships by watching their parents. A cooperative co-parenting arrangement models positive parenting and teaches children how to handle conflict constructively.

Whether it’s a single parent balancing responsibilities or family members offering support, the goal is to create a safe, stable environment where children feel valued.

Fairway’s Nurtured Children Plan™ focuses on children’s needs, children’s lives, and children’s best interest — helping separated parents build healthy co-parenting relationships that last long after the legal process ends.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is 50/50 parenting time required to be fair?

No. A parenting arrangement should reflect children’s needs and best interests, not equal numbers. Emotional security and routine matter more than symmetry.

What if we can’t agree on a parenting order?

Fairway mediators use family mediation to guide parents toward child-focused parenting agreements, avoiding family court whenever possible.

Will unequal time harm my relationship with my child?

Not if you’re intentional. Quality time and a healthy co-parenting relationship matter more than equal hours.

Can a co-parenting plan change as children grow?

Yes. Parenting arrangements should evolve and be reviewed on a regular basis. A parenting coordinator can help update agreements as children’s needs change.

Does parenting time affect child support and spousal support?

It can. But Fairway helps parents align parenting arrangements with the Federal Child Support Guidelines and financial agreements in a balanced, thoughtful way.